Hi, I'm Liz

Some more adventures with Mulligan, my Dungeons and Dragons character, who I decided to name after about a million failed attempts (and do-overs) at “rolling for abilities” (for those of you who aren’t giant nerds and actually left the house on Wednesday to go to the beach or to a bar or something, rolling for abilities is something you do when you create a new character. You roll the die to determine what your basic attributes will be. When I did it, I rolled a 2 or less about a billion times in a row). 

Mulligan started Wednesday as a beaver, but changed into many different animals over the course of the game:

Our DM (or Dungeon Master, again, for those of you who left the house on Weds) noticed how often Mulligan likes turning into different woodland creatures, and was kind enough to buy me a tube of plastic toy animals that I could use as my game pieces. I decided I would start off using the wolf toy, which is in a somewhat awkward pose with one paw over the other. We decided it was because he is fancy. 

We needed to get a little dragon off of the roof, and I suggested I turn into an animal that could fly up there and knock him down. I noticed none of my animals had wings, but one of my teammates pointed out that I have a reindeer, and they definitely know how to fly. 

After an especially bloody battle in the town of Winterhaven, we wanted to prove to the townspeople that we were kind, and meant them no harm. We noticed a few of their guards had been injured during the battle, so Mulligan (who had turned into a moose at some point, I can’t remember why) decided to use some of his healing power to help them. Unfortunately, I rolled terribly three times in a row. Then this happened.

First attempt

Second attempt…

Oops.

© Liz Climo 

When I was three years old, the faculty at my preschool decided to put together a cookbook. Each mother contributed a recipe, and the students were asked to do illustrations based on each entry. I keep the cookbook in my kitchen now, 28 years later, but not necessarily because I ever intend to use it. I just like looking at all the drawings. Here are a few of my favorites:

A carrot, drawn proudly by Melanie, under a recipe for carrot cake. Although Melanie might not have experienced carrot cake in her young age, It is clear that she had at least seen a carrot…

…just as this kid had seen “ants on a log”

Other recipes, however, are not quite as clear, and seemed to require a bit of artistic interpretation. This one is under a recipe for something called “CRISPYMARSHMALLOWBALLS” 

A lot of the meat dishes have drawings of the type of animal being prepared. This one is under chicken parmesan, and is maybe the most wonderful drawing of a chicken I’ve ever seen.

Braised ham, my personal favorite. But then I don’t eat pork. 

This one is under something called an Italian Bomb. I’ve read the recipe twice, and I still have no idea what that is. What does seem pretty clear to me though is the fact that the kid who drew this had traveled to Italy at least once by the time he was three. Jerk. 

And finally, a drawing by yours truly for “Preserved Children,” a ridiculously fanciful recipe for the parent who wishes to keep her precious child forever young. I can’t remember if it was written after I submitted my drawing in an effort to help temper the disturbing image, or if I cooked up the idea of drawing a helpless child in a jar based on my own interpretation of the recipe, but it’s by far my favorite thing I’ve ever drawn. 

© Liz Climo

Try not to blow it.

© Liz Climo

I started playing Dungeons and Dragons a few weeks ago, an activity that seems long overdue considering what a nerd I’ve been my entire life. My character is a lovable druid named Mulligan, who, rather than doing anything productive that may benefit his teammates, transforms into a relatively useless animal every chance he gets. He began rooms one and two as a duck, transformed into a mountain goat to escape a rolling boulder in room three, became a persuasive and charming polar bear in room four, and, when we found a key we needed to hang onto in room 5, he became a kangaroo with a handy pouch. Right now he’s a beaver. 

Because I am nerdy enough to enjoy dungeons and dragons, but evidently lack the patience and brain capacity to get a firm grasp on the game, I occupy my time between turns illustrating Mulligan’s menagerie with a dull pencil on the back of my character sheet. 

Mulligan the duck summons a “stinging cloud” of poisonous bees, and renders a drake motionless and terrified.

Mulligan the mountain goat climbs a dungeon wall and narrowly escapes a rolling boulder.

Mulligan the polar bear attempts to reason with a dragon. 

“Don’t worry, guys. I got this.”  -Mulligan the kangaroo 

© Liz Climo

Once upon a time I preformed with an improv group called “Huzzah!” It was great. Improv is something everyone should try, if for nothing else than to realize how liberating it is to look like a complete asshole in front of a bunch of strangers. Here is a poster I did for us. 

© Liz Climo

A couple of little drawings I did for a holiday show last year. I’ve always enjoyed drawing two-headed things for some reason. 

© Liz Climo

A few years ago, while on a coffee break at work, my friend Eddie and I came up with the idea of making a “Horribly Inappropriate” Christmas card line. We did about 10 during our 45 minute coffee break, each more tasteless than the last. We toyed with the idea of trying to sell them, but that idea was fleeting, and I ended up stashing mine away somewhere at my desk. Eddie probably still has his, he’s far more organized than I am. Anyway, I decided to recreate one of mine. This was probably the most tame of the bunch, to give you an idea of what the rest were like.

© Liz Climo